Example 1: I had just moved to the Dallas area, where I would study Russian in college and eventually become a missionary in Eastern Europe, and there was a group of older Christians that were gathering for breakfast and Bible study in another town. I would have to wake up at 4-something am to make the drive, but that was no problem because I really wanted to connect with these guys and grow. The group’s leader had written a book that had encouraged me a few years ago and I knew from Paul’s example with Timothy that young Christians should have older mentors to look up to.
I walked into the café and they were talking about Social Security and how it would take care of them, the Baby Boomer generation, but will eventually grow out of control and collapse under its own weight. Then one of them pointed at me (the only one under 50) and shouts, “And he’ll have to pay for it all!” and they all laughed at me. Nobody knew my name, what I was doing, or why I was there. All that they knew was that I was young and they despised me for it.
Example 2: It was early in my missionary career and a pastor asked me to speak for fifteen minutes at the end of his sermon. The sermon usually ends at 11:00, so he would end at 10:45 so that I could speak for 15 minutes. He kept speaking until 11:05, so I needed to cram my 15-minute presentation into negative five minutes. I had to flip through the slides at a mile a minute and speak quickly into the back up microphone that didn’t work that well in the first place. It was not a great presentation, but I got some good feedback, except for one older lady, who is almost deaf and hardly heard a word. I stood there patiently, listening to the whole spiel about younger people not annunciating as they should. Others were gathering around to speak with me, but they had to wait until this woman finally let me go. Once she left me alone, another guy let me know that she’s always like that and not to let her angry words discourage me.
Later, the pastor told me that it’s not my fault that I’m a bad speaker, it’s just that millennials didn’t have speech classes or debate clubs. Really? Is that so? Actually, we did have debate in High School and I would have been one of the top-ranked in the state my senior your, but I did not go to the state competition because I graduated High School early to go to basic training. I’m not saying this to glorify my school days like Uncle Rico, nor am I trying to bash this pastor whom I appreciate for several reasons, but rather as an illustration of an older Christian having too superficial of an interest in younger Christians.
Example 3: I was in my early-to-mid thirties and working on a doctorate. I went to a conference that a seminary was hosting and a kind lady greets me and says that it’s so nice to see young people at the conference. We talked a while longer and it turned out that she had been praying for us as we were on her church’s prayer list. Very nice conversation, but it struck me as odd for a 30-something year-old doctoral candidate to be “the young guy” at a seminary conference. Seminaries should be recruiting college students who are thinking about ministry. A “young guy” for a seminary would be a High Schooler, someone half the age of me, the young guy who actually comes to this conference.
Later, a man spoke to the audience and mentioned that there weren’t any young people because young Christians only choose churches if they have good programs for their kids. Really? Is that so? He did not cite any actual research-based evidence, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. It raises a question, though: Is he willing to pour into a children’s program in order to reach young Christians? It seems to me that these words were only the manifestation of a deeper resentment that he had against the next generation. Since then, I think that the seminary has made improvements (some related to relations with younger Christians) and it has grown exponentially. I’m not familiar with the details, but it does seem that when older Christians disesteem the younger, it hinders their own ministries.
Responding to Ageism in the Church
Ageism is an undue prejudice based on someone’s age. Above are only three examples (I could give many more) of situations where I was looked down upon because of my age, and in each situation, Paul’s words to Timothy helped me:
Let nobody disesteem your youth, but be an example for the trustworthy in word, in behavior, in agape, in spirit, in faith, in purity. Until I come, commit yourself to the reading, the encouragement, the doctrine. (1 Tim. 4:12–13 my trans)
It was Andy Holmes who first pointed this verse out to me. Holmes is the man behind Gerbert, who is probably the most famous Christian puppet ever. When I was a teenager, I was in my local church’s ministry that reached kids with humorous puppet shows. I wrote a letter to Holmes and He wrote back and encouraged me with 1 Timothy 4:12, which was a pretty big deal for me at the time—me, just a goofy teenager in a dorky puppet ministry, getting a letter from a real Christian celebrity.
There’s no way that Holmes remembers me, but I sometimes wonder if that short letter that he wrote 20 years ago played an important role in getting me to where I am today. 1 Timothy 4:12 is the verse that got me through the three situations above as well as many others when people whom I admired looked down upon me and other youngn’s because of our age.
When I was in my 20s, I knew a handful of guys who were young like me and wanted to become vocational pastors or missionaries, but most of them are not in vocational ministry today. Now, to be clear, God is using these guys in wonderful ways in their various contexts of where they landed, but several of them became discouraged along the way and abandoned their hopes of becoming missionaries. In reality, the problem is more complex than older guys ragging on younger guys, but ageism certainly is one aspect that hinders young missionaries from emerging. We have been abundantly blessed with the opportunities that have allowed us to serve in the capacity that we do, so I like to offer words of wisdom to aspiring missionaries every so often (see this post for example).
Let nobody disesteem your youth…
This phrase comes from 1 Timothy 4:12, and a few verses later, Paul writes, “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity” (1 Tim. 5:1 NKJV). In 5:1, Paul tells Timothy how to externalize his relationship to others, but here in 4:12, he is telling Timothy how to internalize his attitude toward others who mistreat him.
Ageism is not some new sin that old Baby Boomers started. In the first century, Paul had a disciple that dealt with a grumpy older generation. We may criticize the Boomers for being grumpy old geezers, but when they were younger, their contemporaries had the motto, “Don’t trust anyone over thirty.” Likewise, today’s Gen Z and Millennials have the term, “Ok, boomer.” Disrespect is an inappropriate response to intergenerational conflict per 1 Timothy 5:1, but in practice, we cannot control the actions of others, so we must be prepared to respond appropriately when we see it.
…but be an example for the trustworthy…
Paul encourages believers to reach those in authority over them by exemplifying submission and holiness (cf. Eph. 5:22–6:9). By being an example, Timothy can show others how to take the high road.
Paul wants this example to be “for the trustworthy” (τῶν πιστῶν tōn pistōn). Some translations have “believers,” but technically, “believer” is a better translation of the present active participle, ὁ πιστεύων (ho pisteuōn).1 The term, tōn pistōn, uses a noun that carries a passive connotation rather than active. Instead of “someone that believes,” it is “someone that can be believed.” John Niemelä offers the translation, “credible.”
It seems that Paul recognizes that some believers are untrainable and he doesn’t want Timothy to be worried about pleasing them. Instead, Timothy should be setting an example for those who are willing to grow.
…in word, in behavior, in agape, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
These are the character traits that Paul highlights specifically for Timothy to exemplify. How we speak and behave will annunciate our ethics more clearly than any words we could sling together for a sermon.
If we want to have better words and behavior, then we should first work on our agape and spirit. Then the words and actions will follow naturally. Agape and spirit are deeply rooted in a person’s personality; during one of Jesus’ most intense showdown with the religious rulers of His day, He proclaimed, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matt. 12:34b NKJV).
But how do we improve agape and spirit? By going deeper in faith and purity. Faith is that which we accept as true, so to be an example in faith, we must have a clear understanding and defense of the things we believe. Purity is an absence of contamination, so to set the example of purity is to purge that which is impure from our characters.
Until I come…
Paul and Timothy had a long history of serving together.2 Paul had seen Timothy grow and knew that he could be left to serve without him, but Paul was still invested in Timothy’s life and intended to return to him later. This is a good example for older guys to follow today. Pauline discipleship was a lifelong process, so maybe we should be willing to invest our lives in a younger person. Likewise, Timothy loved Paul and even stuck with him when he was in prison. In fact, the last letter that we have from Paul is 2 Timothy, which was written to Timothy from jail.
…commit yourself to the reading, the encouragement, the doctrine.
In the meantime, Timothy should be committed to reading, encouragement, and doctrine. The reading is probably in reference to reading the Scriptures aloud in a congregation (cf. Acts 13:15; 2 Cor. 3:14) and the encouragement likely refers to Timothy encouraging others. These are two ways that Timothy can be setting an example for older Christians. The doctrine is beneficial to Timothy first, then pours over into the lives of those whom he teaches either directly or through his example.
Conclusion
So, there we have it. A Pauline prescription for young Christians who have grumpy geezers in church. Perhaps a quick secondary application is in order for older Christians (and for younger ones who hope to be old someday). Since Paul tells Timothy not to let people disesteem him because of his youth, then if you have younger people in your life, you probably shouldn’t allow their youth to be a reason to disesteem them. Obviously, we don’t want to hand over positions of leadership to young, new converts (1 Tim. 3:6)—I have seen that go terribly wrong before—but youth in and of itself is not a reason to malign a person.
I am incredibly grateful for the older Christians who have been willing to be a part of my life. I don’t think that the grouches make up the majority of older Christians. I know a lot of Christians who grew up in Christ the Timothy way, being an example and committing themselves to reading, encouragement, and doctrine. That’s the kind of old person that I want to grow into.
- You can find the word, pisteuōn, in Matt. 18:6; 21:22, 25; Mark 9:23, 42; John 1:12; 3:15, 16, 18, 36; 5:24; 6:35; 6:40, 47, 64; 7:38, 39; 11:25, 26; 12:44, 46; 14:12; 20:31; Acts 2:44; 5:14; 9:26; 10:43; 13:39; 22:19; 24:14; Rom. 1:16; 3:22; 4:5, 11; 4:24; 9:33; 10:4, 11; 1 Cor. 1:21; 14:22; Gal. 3:22; Eph. 1:19; 1 Thess. 2:13; 2 Thess. 1:10; 1 Peter 1:21; 2:6, 7; 1 John 5:1, 5, 10, 13.
- Thomas Constable summarizes Paul and Timothy’s history: Timothy apparently became a Christian as a result of Paul’s missionary work in Lystra (Acts 14:6-23). He joined Paul on the second missionary journey, when the apostle’s evangelistic team passed through that area where Timothy lived (Acts 16:1-3). While on the second journey, Timothy helped Paul in Troas, Philippi, Berea, Thessalonica, Athens, and Corinth. During the third journey, he worked with Paul in Ephesus. From there, Paul sent Timothy on to Macedonia (Acts 19:22). Later he was joined by Paul in Macedonia (2 Cor. 1:1, 19), and apparently traveled with the apostle to Corinth (Rom. 16:21). On the return trip to Ephesus, Timothy accompanied Paul through Macedonia as far as Troas (Acts 20:3-6). Still later Timothy was with Paul in Rome (Col. 1:1; Phile. 1; Phil. 1:1), and from there he probably made a trip to Philippi (Phil. 2:19-23). source.