Congratulations on your reassignment to America. Now that Europe is essentially secure, the higher echelons are shifting their attention across the ocean. I put in a good word for you and you will be assigned to one of the most elite units in the West as you work with unbelievers who have begun going to American churches.
Our enemies like to call these patients, “seekers,” which reminds me of one of our great American victories a few decades ago: The Church Growth Movement. We actually managed to convince these idiots that in order to reach more of our army, they should water down their message to become “seeker sensitive!” I know, right?!? Now, the focus in your patient’s local church is numbers rather than actually teaching from that wretched book. Many churches have fallen for this trap and we have managed to build a church-hopping culture in many towns across the country. Your patient’s current church consists of many people who have already turned their backs on churches before and will likely abandon this church as well someday. Your patient’s pastor knows this and his handler reminds him daily.
While we do have a beachhead in the local church, it remains the most dangerous place that your patient could be. Our forces have managed to trick your patient into thinking that Christians are sinless, so if you can help him see how hypocritical Christians are, then perhaps this will drive him away from church and back into safety. Above all else, you must do everything within your power to prevent him from believing in the Enemy for eternal life. This is a difficult task, but it can be done.
Until now, your client has worked hard to earn everything he has. His work ethic is unpleasing, to say the least, but we can use this as an edge against the Enemy’s Message. If everything in life must be earned through hard work, then surely you can keep him convinced that eternal life must be wrought by hard work as well. So long as your patient is trusting in his own works for eternal life, he is not trusting in the Enemy. Once again, I cannot overemphasize how terrible the moment will be if he ever does believe in the Enemy.
Your colleagues will ensure that your patient hears that faith in the enemy is insufficient and that he must contribute his own works for salvation. We have redefined “faith” to mean “faith plus works,” so that now, “faith alone” means “faith and works.” It is important for your patient to hear this redefinition as early as possible, so that he understands that the church’s message is back loaded. If someone tells him to believe in the Enemy for eternal life without telling him to also believe in his works, then he just might believe!
You will want to prevent him from reading the Enemy’s Book. Much hard work has gone into changing the message that the church promotes, but if your patient reads from the original source, then all of our work is for naught. For thousands of years, we have managed to attack the Message itself by telling men that they must believe in their own works instead of the Enemy’s. Unfortunately, that nasty book has been around this whole time and when people read what the Enemy Himself said on the matter, it is hard to get them to ignore the free offer of eternal life. It is difficult, but not impossible.
Should that day ever come and your patient does believe that awful message, then, as you know, an irreversible thing will happen that will forever change the dynamic of your work with him. This is the worst thing that can happen during a man’s life. Should that terrible thing happen, though, you can still have some smaller victory if you manage to convince him that the message he believed is wrong and that his works are indeed required to gain or maintain eternal life. The Enemy hates it when we convince His people that He is insufficient. If your patient can evangelize a faith plus works message, then all the better, as he will slap the Enemy in the face every time he says that His work on the cross (oh, that wonderful day!) were insufficient.
Your double-talking uncle,